It was the sadness that ran so deep it made my body ache,
It was my heart beating so hard I could hear it in my ear drums,
Yet in another moment fading to an almost undetectable wisp.
It was the mirror, like a magnifying glass, taking regret to pure self hatred.
My emotions felt as though they would shatter like thin ice.
At the same time I wanted to claw out my organs just to feel.
Make the world stop just for a moment.
That is why I came here, but now I am exhausted as it seems
I am alone trying to hold the earth from continuing to rotate.
I will not forget where I came from and I practice gratitude everyday for living clean. An addict, any addict can lose the desire to use and learn to live clean. I am no longer alone and I am grateful that being an addict and finding recovery brings me so many gifts when I allow life to unfold knowing I never need to use again.