MY WINTER

Snow begins to fall,

As a cold wind blows,

My lungs exhale

And the frigid air shows.

The smell is familiar

And seems like a friend,

The dizzying spiral,

I can’t yet let end.

The welcome escape

in a heavy buzz,

Wrapping like a blanket

Whose warmth always was,

Right around the corner,

Waiting for me,

Something I run towards,

When I know I should flee.

I hate the winter and

I wish to reject snowflakes,

But I’m caught in a shiver,

Not sure what it takes,

To warm myself,

And accept the season’s change,

To take in the sunlight,

And allow things rearranged,

To inhale the warmth and

Let it cleanse,

Go with natural current,

And follow its trends.

Advertisements

FRAGMENT DISCONNECT

Pleasant memories to take into my lifetime,

Let love and connection manifest genuine,

Not easy when over connected to pain,

Grief focus bringing spirit drain,

Lying on the floor with energy seeping,

Grasping thoughts, positive keeping,

Moving from my head and looking to my heart,

Opposite poles continue tearing me apart.

No one can take the memories that live there,

But they are mixed in joy and despair,

I want to hold the moments beautiful and true

Letting go the resentments allowed to accrue

But I fear leaving behind fragments that protect

The fight in my mind brings disconnect

Better for now in the moment to stay

Practice and grasp just for today.

PEROXIDE CUT

Never chance illusion

Disguised in a feeling of content

Reality skewed and fulfillment bent

Illusion with the power to smother and consume

Fooled back in, putting suicide on resume.

 

Peroxide in a cut,

Slam the door shut,

Acid in the eye,

Laughing while I cry,

Smash head into wall

Trip into emotional fall

Crushing like a rock

While continuing to talk

 

No longer can I afford such things

Despite what fantasy brings

It turns to darkness, where loss lies

A place without light, as soul dies

Why would I follow you there?

Where ultimately there is grief to share

It was never true anyway

A fool it makes of me to stay

In a place in my head

Where there is familiar succession

The toxins that kill with illusive progression

I dare not lose this battle of wills

Loss of essence corruptly kills.

 

Peroxide in a cut,

Slam the door shut,

Acid in the eye,

Laughing while I cry,

Smash head into wall

Trip into emotional fall

Crushing like a rock

While continuing to talk

 

Shards of glass from a broken picture in my mind

Cutting into me, the pain makes me blind,

Thoughts flame hot against my skin,

Burning resentments simmering within,

The idea of letting go resurfaces fears

Irritating open wounds with salt from tears

Reaching out is my only hope

Faith grasping, can’t slip from my rope

Tangled and knotted and tied so tight

Simply exhausted, someone help me to fight.