SILENT SERPENT

The serpent is circling, silent and slow,

Patient and cunning, staying hidden down low,

Circling wide, with a smile full of charm,

Gently and softly, curling round one arm.

Mesmerizing; as the gaze is met,

Not revealing any sense of danger yet,

As the grip tightens ever so slight,

It sends a shiver that doesn’t seem quite right,

Softly the snake slithers, massaging down the spine,

The tail at the neck brings discomfort; but it’s fine.

Around the chest the circle is made,

The pressure is squeezing making breath fade,

How did the creature become so bold?

The warmth is gone consumed by cold.

Soon little is left, spirit is fading,

The soul that was strong and energy creating,

Pulls from the last ounce of strength and self-worth,

Breaks free from the snake, as it falls to the earth.

A hawk swiftly dives in high from above,

Soaring off with the serpent, and looking back with love.

hawk and snake

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AS I AM THIS MOMENT

AS I AM THIS MOMENT

I need not explain myself, for that is part of my overthinking

Others state things for me, with the assumptions they are linking

My reasons are only mine, as is the path I walk alone

Laid out before me, seeds already sewn

I state my cause and my motivation

Frustrated when met with outsider’s reservation

Explaining myself to me, is all I need discern

Inner reflection that will help me learn

The steps are what is important, this focus I must keep

Not getting ahead of myself, fearing a fatal leap

Those who understand have walked the path before

They have done the work and looked into their core

There they find truth and heal with each beat of the heart

With patience and time, each day a new start.

Then there is looking back toward those still suffering

This brings yet a different kind of buffering

A reminder of where I don’t want to be

The freshness of pain, shows I’m never free

Of the dangerous patterns and obstacles in the path

Where jails, institutions and death are the aftermath

Trust I am in a place where I am safe and accepted

Keeping my compass pointed, my heart directed

I appreciate those in my life supporting in their own way

Understand my steps are each moment, each hour, each day.

PRICELESS IS OUR WORTH

All around the world there are places of delusion

Corners of the universe filled with confusion

A ribbon tying us in misery and despair

The human condition of thought takes us there

Then, when you clear the smoky haze

Turning your back on those places and days

You begin to see the new corners in the world

Hope and possibility begins to unfurl

You realize there is another thread

A different way for your story to be read

Spirit takes over and to faith you surrender

A place in the world that is each ours to render

As we waiver from each fold in our own time

We perceive the world as a place more kind

Seeking compassion instead of despair

Finding in people what was always there

A ribbon that binds us in understanding and then

We feel more as one, united to defend;

Against falling into the chasm of misery and despair

It is easier now, though fear’s always there;

To feel that others can identify

Not just on the surface, but deep and allied

All around the world we ebb and we flow

Like rivers, lakes and oceans on and on we will go

Natural and beautiful connected by the earth

Together bonded, making priceless our worth.

MY WAR

war sunOne breath at a time is all I can take
More than that brings fear of mistake
One misstep pulling the spiral tight
Leaves me with fear of losing the fight
Like on a battlefield I stand with my shield
Feeling exposed, cannons roaring, surreal
My fortress is compromised, walls crumbling still
I stand my ground, looking proudly for will
Thats when the message comes down from the hills
Reinforcements are coming before isolation kills
Direct from the grace found humbly within
With courage in numbers the war we will win
Each breath now of cleansing and united renewal
To build back the castle and regain the rule

JUST FOR TODAY AND ON TO FOREVER

My spirit diluted by the chemical toxifying my brain
My heart becomes deluded, feeling so raw to pain
I close my eyes to picture the voices telling me I am not alone
Reluctant to reach for tools that feel like they’re on loan
Walking through a journey so adverse to what I dreamt
Knowing life is encouraging me toward a happiness attempt
Insanity is, that there is familiarity in escape
Then I am reminded to play out the tape
Picture darkness and loss
Alienation and shame
The chemical path is merely a game
Played against me,
To kill my spirit, quietly cruel
But guess what? I can make my own rules
For my spirit is stronger and I more clever
Just for today and on to forever.

firespirit

RELAPSE

This is a poem written on the day I allowed escape back into drug use. I am so grateful my disconnect was short and that I was able to take lessons from the dark place I went. Grateful for the recovery seeds planted that very quickly that brought me back to a positive place filled with hope and discovery, leading to faith and possibility. Narcotics Anonymous brings me so much due to the spiritual energy so freely shared. So grateful the experience was left behind me, allowing me back on my path with stronger resolve.

RELAPSE

Bring down the curtains

Drown out the light

I am responsible for ending my fight;

For now I stir the cauldron of pain

Move toward darkness, knowing no gain

Familiar discomfort, simple escape

The only place I do not complicate

Setting up a battle harder to win

Moving to the outside, losing within

The blackness will be heavier when I lift it again

Insanity this length to prove that end

I need protection in the place where I run

Please allow me back on my path when I’m done